Hope, dangles on a string,
like slow spinning redemption.
Winding in and winding out,
the shine of it has caught my eye.
And roped me in,
So mesmerizing and so hypnotizing.
I am captivated, I am ...

Sorry I post all the emo/negative happenings here. I just need a place to 'pen' my thoughts down. I have really magnificient friends I know I can rely on (I do want to give hugs to show my appreciation, and for comfort), but I think I find it easier to convey what's on my mind here. I find myself staring into space a few times today, a bundle of thoughts running through my head. That uneasy feeling in my chest, shoo.

I received an SMS from my mother when class was about to end:
"Gong gong is in critical condition. He can go anytime. So, I want you all (my brother & I) to see him as many times as possible when he's still alive. Keep your hp with you at all times."

Grandpa has gotten another two strokes since the other time. The scans show his brain bleeding, more blood vessels had burst. The doctors told my grandma & mom to prepare themselves for the worst since there's almost no hope left. At times like this, I wish a miracle befalls on him.

Chatted a bit with my grandma a couple of hours ago, I asked her.. "Is gong gong suffering any pain?" She thinks he's in pain, 'cause at times she sees him cringing in pain (facial expression). I bet what hurts the most is her heart. I want to tell her, "Porpor, xin ku ni le" and then maybe do something or say something else that can brighten her day. She's all alone at home, I'm glad I'll be visiting grandpa & her tomorrow. I want her to know she's not alone.

What if I tear? No, I will be strong for them (yes kyl, for myself too). While every minute ticks away, I wish the agony lessen for my loved ones. This ordeal will be handled well, yes?